PUA #11 - Tyler Durden / Alpha male
When I first came onto the board, breakbeat IM'ed me to ask if I had any insights onto what an alphamale really was, and what characteristics/attributes/qualities they had.
I kept my eyes open for a long time, and compiled a mental list. I've been meaning to post this for a while.
I think that this is really important, and I hope that people will read all of this.
This post is about to get messy I think... confusing, etc.
Alright, for me, as I've gotten good at PU, I've finally started to notice discrepancies between myself and NATURAL players.
It's funny, because even though I can outgame any natural in terms of results, I often feel like I'm trying too hard.
Like, even though I can outgame them, they can have a nice chill night and just be comfortable and secure, while my mind is racing a million miles a minute.
Of course this is because I LOVE the game, and because I play it for the purpose of stimulating myself intellectually (once you get very experienced, your mind buzzes with info-processing while you're doing PU, as you rapidly compare past experience and game-theory that you've read, to events at hand.. This is why I play the PU game so much, and it is a similar reason to why I enjoy my philosophy cirriculum at school).
Still though, I've studied alpha behaviour very carefully now, and I've noticed some characteristics, which you guys may or may not agree with.
Here they are off the top of my head:
ALPHAMALE CHARACTERISTICS:
1) NEVER QUALIFYING THEMSELVES.
"Qualify" meaning that they never brag or even REMOTELY explain things... they don't say "I'm tired right now", or "I'm really hung over", or "My good clothes are at home", or "I used to be able to lift that weight, but I haven't been in the gym for a while.", or "I could do that, but I'm having a bad day."
Similarly, they don't talk excessively about all the chicks they've laid, or all their girlfriends, or all their success.
WHY? Because they don't even GIVE A FUCK enough about you to even tell you about it.
They ASSUME that you'll think that they're the shit, because they ARE.
TALKING ALOT / TOO MUCH IS VERY OFTEN INTERPRETED AS QUALIFYING YOURSELF.
2) NOT LOOKING AROUND.
Think CLINT EASTWOOD. He hears a big bang or loud noise, and he SLOWLY turns to look at it. He doesn't let ANYBODY disturb him. He's in his own reality.
I can remember walking into a class late one day, and not looking at the teacher WHATSOEVER.
The girls started giggling, as I looked totally unconcerned at what anyone thought, and they started hitting on me after class. I mean I can hardly convey this over the net.. The reaction was RIDICULOUS.
3) TALK SLOW.
Think to when you are chatting some authority figure, or somebody who you admire. If you're like me, you'll increase your speech DRAMATICALLY.
It's very obvious, and I've seen guys who are alpha start talking abnormally fast when confronted with guys who are MORE alpha.
Talking fast is a way of QUALIFYING yourself to someone, because you are WORRIED that they'll stop listening to you and that you won't get out what you have to say.
4) BEING THE ANCHOUR OF THE CONVERSATION.
Notice that when an obviously alpha guy is present, everyone faces their bodylanguage towards him.
If you crack a joke, people wait for the alphamale to laugh as a sort of "approval" of the joke. He laughs, and then everyone follows.
Also, an alphamale can crack a DUMB joke, but notice that everyone laughs. It's a laugh of SUBMISSION in many ways, as when I'm sarging girls they always giggle non-stop.. (alot of PUAs I've met will say "dude, you make girls giggle like nobody else.. this is ridiculous".. This is only something that I learned as I practised ASF stuff, and it never used to happen.
Notice that chicks LAUGH HYSTERICALLY when you call them "geeks/dorks/powerpuffgirls".. Or they laugh when you say that if they're not rich you'll break up with them.
Guys, this stuff is NOT FUNNY. But they laugh like its the funniest thing they've ever heard. Why? IMO, its because its a laugh of submission. These C&F remarks set you as ALPHA, and they giggle to submit.
This is called going "girly-girl", and the ugly chicks always bash the hotties for giggling at the captain of the football team's lame jokes.. "see how she laughs at all his dumb jokes.. its so pathetic!" (even though they WISH that THEY were the ones who the cool-guy would be chatting up)..
4b) USURPING THE GLORY.
Alphas seem to take ANYTHING that challenges their alpha status in the room and USURP it for themselves.
This is a variation of being the ANCHOUR of the convo.
Basically, if you're not the alpha, and you say something cool, the alphamale might do something like "YEAH THAT IS THE SHIT... YOU COULD EVEN DO X,Y,Z...."
Somehow, YOUR cool idea has become THEIR cool idea, and they've usurped the credit for your idea.
5) NEVER BEING IMPRESSED.
There's this one dude, who whenever I hang out at his house (university frathouse type deal, with lots of guys living there), there will always be this little "alpha-subtext" deal going on.
Like, I'll be showing the dudes there something, and I'll have ALL the attention.
But will HE come over and act impressed? NOPE.
He'll just go do his own thing, or just sit there eating his ravioli, unimpressed with me, in his own reality.
The ONLY time he'll pay attention to what I'm doing is if its a case like 4b, where he'll usurp it for himself.
Otherwise, he's NEVER interested.
6) ONLY HAVING RAPPORT WITH BETAS, EXCEPT FOR A FEW EXCEPTIONS.
I've noticed that I can't get along with alphamales as well as I used to be able to.
It's like a conflict in the room, where the heirarchical status is totally out of order.
Alphas will often hate eachother, except that when they DO make friends, they are BEST FRIENDS.
Or, they can co-exist, but have this sort of weird way of talking.
Like they'll say things to eachother in ways that don't qualify themselves, so its sort of like a weird broken conversation. I dunno how to describe this, but I'm sure you've all seen it.
Anyway, they get along with everyone, since everyone is on their knob. But as soon as someone who tries to "take over" the alpha status comes along, he's ridiculed for whatever reason they see fit.
7) ANSWERING QUESTIONS WITH DEGRADING JIBBERISH.
I've noticed that alphas will also have tendencies to take any question that you may have posed in attempt to get rapport with them, and answer it with some stupid non-sensical bullshit.
This goes back to why I say "don't ask girls questions.. just make statements until they try to get rapport with YOU.. 'what's your name', etc etc"
Say that you come across an alphamale, and you want to try to get rapport with him. Maybe you'll ask him some basic questions or something.
But he'll answer with stupid shit like "guess", or "I work at taco bell.. I'm the employee of the month".. SOUND FAMILIAR?
Also, they have a tendency to take what you asked and TWIST it around to ridicule you.
ALPHAMALES DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU.
Have you ever been onto a campus where there are cliques everywhere.
Go look at the clique of rich jewish kids. (many of my closest friends are in these, so no stupid racist bullshit comments)
They don't give a fuck about you. You can be the centre of attention, life of the party, whatever..
It doesn't matter, they're in their corner with a few hotties, minding their own business, and they're NOT gonna come out to see what cool shit is going on with you.
Now you'd THINK that this would make them BETA, but there's just something ABOUT them that makes it seem cool.
Their disinterest puts them up above you, and if they DO come over, they come over like you're their "CLOWN" whose purpose is to ENTERTAIN THEM. It's all about THEM, not YOU. Again, "USURPING THE GLORY".
9) ALPHAMALES GET MORE CREDIT FOR MINOR ACTS OF KINDNESS THAN BETAS DO.
When I was in NYC with Papa and Mys, we stayed at the house of this guy named "Garvellous" (NYC Lair top guy).
He was a really cool guy, and he'd been laid around 40 times in college before he'd even FOUND ASF.
He'd been in a frat, and he told me about something that the frathouse would intentionally do to new pledges when they'd apply.
According to Garvellous, they were told to appear UNAPPROACHABLE and CLIQUISH initially.
THEN, they were to be REALLY DOWN TO EARTH.
What he explained was that if you APPEAR to be cliquish and unapproachable, that when you turned out to be actually down to earth, people would say "this guy is the NICEST/COOLEST guy.."
As opposed to a librarian or a geek being nice, which NOBODY appreciates because they interpret it as COMPENSATING for short-comings.
Just think: Imagine if you were to bump into Jay-Z or Dr. Dre or Michael Jordan, and they had a big entourage. The celeb in question comes up to you and says "what's up.. having a good time dude? cool.. yeah this place is pretty busy you know, and it can be kinda intimidating.. but you know, I just try to have a good time.. anyway, have a good night man.."
You'd be like HOLY SHIT THAT GUY IS THE COOLEST/NICEST GUY I'VE EVER MET... You'd tell EVERYBODY about how cool and down to earth the celeb is, and you'd be really appreciative and impressed.
Now take the SAME REMARK from a geek or whatever, and you wouldn't give it a second thought... Whatever, its just some geek.
In clubs, the "unapproachable" guys are the dudes who wear sunglasses into the club, and have superfly clothes and a corner with hot girls. Notice that if one of THOSE guys approaches your set in a club, you will NEVER snub him. The two-man cockfarm of generically dressed guys on the other hand, its a different story.
10) ULTIMATE COMFORT IN OWN SKIN.
Here is one that I find really funny.
Look at rapport 50-Cent, or any stereotypical rockstar.
Now your average woman will have all of these "ideals" that guys should have, but notice that these go out the window for guys like 50-Cent.
50-Cent raps about how he's going to kill and shoot people.. Fuck hoes, etc etc..
NOBODY questions this.
He is 50-Cent, he's from the streets, and THAT-IS-WHO-HE-IS.
NOBODY QUESTIONS IT.
Similarly, a rockstar pumps massive drugs and fucks groupies all day long.
He's a REBEL.. a BADBOY.. a SEX SYMBOL.. (notice the correlation, and how projecting rebel/badboy can get you laid, even though there is no LOGICAL reason for that being the case)..
Even a spiritual guy who talks about inner-peace and non-violence and all that stuff will usually say "well, he's a superstar" when they're asked what they think about these types of guys.. (there are exceptions of course, and the dudes with more zeal will call out anybody).
Another example is like COLLEGE ALPHA MALES who wear dumb shit like TOGAS and marker up their faces with magic marker and shit like that.
Notice that everyone thinks that its COOL, just because the "cool kids" (alphas) are doing it. NOBODY questions it.
CONCLUDING THOUGHTS:
1) Good topic for discussion - how to DEAL with these kinds of guys. For any of us who do clubs, these kind of guys can be DIFFICULT TO BEFRIEND, for group thoery purposes (for social proof, and of course for stealing their chicks)
So how do we get good at out-alpha-ing these guys, who barely talk, and who are disinterested in getting to know you?
2) In what ways do WE on ASF EMULATE these behaviours?
Some obvious ones are just making statements and not asking about them until they go for it first.
And following up "what's your name" with answers like "guess".
3) How does this CONFLICT with the fact that you NEED TO BE TALKATIVE in order to pickup.
It's funny, because it could be argued that the true alpha doesn't TRY to pickup, but just goes out with his group and has girls do the work to approach HIM.
It just strikes me funny that although I'm supposedly thought of as this big alpha guy on campus, that I TRY REALLY HARD compared to all the other alphas. Basically, I'm a MASSIVE try-hard when you really get down to it. I just hide it very well.
So if alphamales don't talk too much, because that is QUALIFYING YOURSELF, then how do we run a good PU?
One way to get over this hump is to just go and make statements, run routines, etc etc, in a way that conveys that you're just in the mood to TALK, and it has NOTHING to do with impressing them.
Of course this is what David D, Gunwitch, and others are referring to when they say its 90% bodylanguage/tonality.
This goes back to the ideas of 2) TALK SLOW, 3) NOT LOOKING AROUND. Also 1) NOT QUALIFYING YOURSELF is important here as well, since you JUST TALK and don't try to get rapport, or say things that could be interpreted as qualifying yourself.
A GREAT way to do this is JERK ROUTINES, which are NEGS because you are saying that you don't want them, so they interpret that as NOT qualifying yourself, which makes them perceive you as alpha, which attracts them to you.
Also importantly here, ALPHAMALES DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU... That is conveyed by the fact that you DON'T ASK QUESTIONS to the chick. You don't ask her her name, or where she works, or ANYTHING until she starts asking YOU.
IOW, I don't go for rapport with HER, until she goes for it with ME, and then I initialy TEASE her that I won't reciprocate this intention ("guess", C&F answers, etc), for the first minute, until I DO give it to her.
----
OK, long post. I hope people will find this helpful.
I'm really cool!
It's a funny thing when you set out to become good with women......
If you're coming into the community as a "nerdy" or so-called "not cool" guy, you start out just wanting the utter pain and loneliness of not having a girlfriend to go away.
You're not thinking in terms of personal TRANSFORMATION and DEEP IDENTITY LEVEL CHANGE......
No way.
That stuff's confusing... Vague... Mind-exhausting...
Not to mention it would take waaaaaay too much time -- and that crappy feeling you're dealing with is something that you need to get rid of RIGHT NOW.
At first you look towards the variety of "magic pill" solutions, probably thinking that if you can memorize and calibrate a series of lines or techniques that you'll somehow generate the attraction to make women want you.
Of course, over time you realize that this gets a lot of women giggling and chatty but at the end of the night they don't actually want to HAVE SEX with you.
From there you deduce that if you can get MORE LINES you'll somehow keep the conversation going for longer and longer until the sex just somehow "happens" -- but that doesn't work either because the whole idea of it is totally ludicrous.
(BTW I think having great lines is awesome... It's just that it's the sizzle on the steak, not the steak...)
The "elusive obvious" of course, is that you just haven't become quote/unquote COOL as of yet...
You haven't yet become a dude who a prospective girl can bring around her friends and count on to make a good impression (or even jealous...) -- and the fact is that she just doesn't feel like it would be a big boost in her sense of validation to sleep with you.
From your perpective this doesn't really make sense...
It's like, what do these so-called "cool" people have that you don't??
Is it that they say the word "BRO" to eachother a lot?? Is it that they drink more CORONA'S than you do??
I mean, the whole "who is cool" and "who is uncool" thing is in many ways so absurd and ridiculous that if you grew up with major interests outside of socializing you may well have never fully bothered to wrap your head around it.
To a logical guy, the whole glass wall that separates you from the "cool" people can be very hard to understand.
--> Why is that when you go to a hot nightclub that all these so-called "cool" guys seem to be having a lot more fun than you??
--> Why is it that when you talk to them you just feel like what they're saying is somehow better than what YOU have to say??
--> Why don't they want to hang out with you, but will hang out with other so-called "cool" guys??
Truth be told, the whole "cool" thing is waaaaaay blown out of proportion in Western Culture.
Especially when you consider that there's like a huge portion of the population who walk around essentially traumatized from their High School days where they never got the privilege of being "popular" or "cool".
Still, this stuff is like ROCKET FUEL for attracting women.
Women respond to guys who are obviously "popular" and "cool"... Duuuh.
I often say that if you're a "cool" guy who clearly appears to be "popular" you've got like 2/3s of this whole game fully locked down.
The upside to all this is that if you just do what you're supposed to do and actually stick to the script (ie: go out regularly) -- you WILL inevitably become "cool".
It's just a matter of time and social experience.
There's another level though, that I think a lot of successful guys often fail to attain -- and that's to come full circle and realize that BEING COOL IS REALLY NO BIG DEAL.
I think when you grow up feeling like the popular kids have a great deal of power over you that it takes a period of decompression to fully "internalize" that you actually ARE as cool as these so called popular folks.
Like, you can sleep with countless women and STILL feel yourself a little uncomfortable when you're around the type of guy who would have made fun of you in High School.
You might even harbour a secret feeling that you're "infiltrating" their cliques without their knowledge, or a desire to sleep with their girlfriends and get them to take it on the face -- all in the act of venting a sort of pent up hostility you're dealing with from back in High School.
Back in the day I'd love to demonstrate how to steal the "popular" guys' girlfriends and makeout with them right under their noses.
At the time my mindset was like "These are the same guys who would've done this to me back in the day......."
Naturally, this became a well-known feature in the bootcamp reviews as it represented a certain level of mastery in the game -- despite that it's actually a surprisingly easy thing to do.
The thing is, over the years I've come to evolve my way of thinking quite a bit......
I'm not really coming from that place anymore......
I don't think it's an overall very cool thing to teach or do, EVEN IF it IS ultimately up to the girl to make her own decisions about what she wants.
(Exception: sometimes the girl is obviously up for it, and sometimes she even *needs* you to help her to resolve to get out of a bad relationship... that's a whole 'nother article...)
And you know what??
While I won't makeout with another guys' girlfriend in front of him anymore, my *overall* skillset with women has improved very obviously because I don't feel any hostility towards these guys anymore.
I don't feel like an outsider. I'm don't feel like I'm a nerd with a scheme to infiltrate their magical cliques.
The truth is that these people are just REGULAR FOLKS who never exerted any power over me --> I just handed it to them without them even wanting it...
All of that pent up anger...... it was really just an outwardly directed frustration at my own shortcomings.
Oftentimes it's only after you've used the insane momentum to improve so friggin' much that you literally BLOW THESE GUYS AWAY that it finally "clicks" that you're not only as cool as them, but that you actually feel kind of sorry for them...
It's like you've spent a decade preparing to go back and fight the kindergarden bully, only to realize that you weigh a 150 pounds more than him and that you just made him this big hobgoblin fictional character in your mind.
I mean really, people are just people..........
Chances are, any time they've ever made fun of you was just coming from a place of the SAME insecurity that YOU were dealing with..... and they just had a different "strategy" for coping with it.
I really think that deep down, most people are actually really, really positively intentioned.
It's just a point of seeing it, and seeing past the social personas.
Over time I think that your "self concept" DOES catch up with the "social skills" you get from massive amounts of going out.
And once it does, it's a really beautiful thing.
You become a natural. You become a guy who offers value. And you come to walk with total ease in your environment and in the world.
That's it for today.... Thanks for reading this and being cool!!
Tyler
I almost replied on private e-mail, but reconsidered and post instead.
TylerDurden sent me a private e-mail asking for feedback on this post since he
learned a lot of it he says based on meeting me. So I post my response here. It
is actually good feedback for me on how I come across, and a sad inditement of
my aloofness also. The issue here is really about what it means to be cool. I
meet a lot of people from the community, and very few it seems to me measure up
to the standard of cool that I expect from my friends so maybe some elemetary
discussion are in order. Comments within:
>
> ALPHAMALE CHARACTERISTICS:
>
>
> 1) NEVER QUALIFYING THEMSELVES.
>
> "Qualify" meaning that they never brag or even REMOTELY explain things...
> they don’t say "I’m tired right now", or "I’m really hung over", or "My good
> clothes are at home", or "I used to be able to lift that weight, but I
> haven’t been in the gym for a while.", or "I could do that, but I’m having a
> bad day."
>
> Similarly, they don’t talk excessively about all the chicks they’ve laid, or
> all their girlfriends, or all their success.
>
> WHY? Because they don’t even GIVE A FUCK enough about you to even tell you
> about it.
I am sorry I come off like that. But on the other hand my internal dialogue
about whether I am hungry, or need a shit or whatever is my internal dialogue.
There is a filter between my brain and my mouth. I would like it if other
people could have the same filter and think about my interests before they open
their mouths and sprout it to me because it would save all the banal
conversations that I have to have sometimes. When a banal conversation comes
along, I either tune out and get into a conversatoin with the person to my left
until it is over and the person has taken a hint, or let it be known that I am
not interested with a disinterested facial guesture, or sometimes in a PU I
will give the chick a "Spare me!". It is not a bad neg actually. This is really
about the mechanism of negs. And it is true ... I dont give a fuck about if
someone else is hungry unless it somehow impacts my plans in that I will have
to accompany them to get something to eat or something. It is not that I am
only self interested, I just expect some restraint on their part as to what we
are going to talk about.
If a chick tells me she is hungry during a PU, I will use the op for an instant
date. If an instant date is not possible and the statement is banal I will not
answer it, just leap the conversation to a new thread "Really? so anyway, I was
down on the corner of Jefferson Ave. and Main St. the other day and ..."
>
> They ASSUME that you’ll think that they’re the shit, because they ARE.
Yeah, I do truely believe that I am the shit, because I am:-). You have to be
cooler than the chick in a PU. Always. Doesn’t matter if she thinks she is the
club queen with hangers on and an enterage, that is what a neg is for. Tell her
she is weird. You are suddenly cooler. She tells you that you are weird, she is
cooler, especially if you try to justify your self, or go into self-discovery
mode. Tell her as a retort that her momma didn’t teach her any manners. Or that
she doesn’t get out much. You are the cooler one again. You know about manners,
social interactoins and all that stuff more than her.
>
> TALKING ALOT / TOO MUCH IS VERY OFTEN INTERPRETED AS QUALIFYING YOURSELF.
It is not about talking too much so much as talking fucking banalities or too
quickly or rabbitting from one conversation to another with no eye for whether
the topics of conversation are of interest to the other person. Someone who
always has to fill the silence with bullshit is unconfident. If there is a
silence don’t fill it like a hopping running rabbit just scattering some mad
movement into the silence ... just shrug your shoulders, smile and say to her
"So you are full of scintilating conversation ... c’mon, tell me a story,
entertain me!" They never can. Too much pressure. They will say as much and ask
you to tell them a story. That is your cue for a routine. You look cool, she
looks boring. She will want to fuck you because you are cooler than her.
>
> 2) NOT LOOKING AROUND.
I am big on this one. Say it all the time to everyone I go out with. "Stop
looking at them! Dont stand there and scope the room! You are fucking it up for
me with your uncoolness. You have to have your own shit going on!" The 3 second
rule is worth sticking to.
>
> Think CLINT EASTWOOD. He hears a big bang or loud noise, and he SLOWLY turns
> to look at it. He doesn’t let ANYBODY disturb him. He’s in his own reality.
This is more of not being an excitable rabbit. Anyone who has spent time
anywhere that is dangerous (rough neighbourhoods, dangerous cities) knows that
you are best off in a new place just working out the scene for a little bit and
acting as if the place is normal to you. Tourists to the neighbourhoods stand
out because they stare at things that are normal to the locals. This makes them
targets for theives. You have to look comfortable in your environment. Every
time you do anything you should look like you have done it 1000 times before.
You want to be the opposite of Vince Vaughan in "Made" where it was obvious
that he was new to the whole NY limo thing, etc.
> 3) TALK SLOW.
> Think to when you are chatting some authority figure, or somebody who you
> admire. If you’re like me, you’ll increase your speech DRAMATICALLY.
Covered it, but this does not mean drawling like a retard it means make sure
you are not rabbiting, and leaving pauses.
> 4) BEING THE ANCHOUR OF THE CONVERSATION.
> Notice that when an obviously alpha guy is present, everyone faces their
> bodylanguage towards him.
>
> If you crack a joke, people wait for the alphamale to laugh as a sort of
> "approval" of the joke. He laughs, and then everyone follows.
OK, that just happens. I try to make people feel reasonably comfortable in my
presence though.
> 4b) USURPING THE GLORY.
>
> Alphas seem to take ANYTHING that challenges their alpha status in the room
> and USURP it for themselves.
>
> This is a variation of being the ANCHOUR of the convo.
>
> Basically, if you’re not the alpha, and you say something cool, the
> alphamale might do something like "YEAH THAT IS THE SHIT... YOU COULD EVEN
> DO X,Y,Z...."
I am not sure that this is usurping. If TD has applied the word to me I am
guessing that it applies to my interaction with TD on the night I met him. It
wasn’t a competition for me though. I think it is a good way to interact for a
different reason. Look, with a person you can be adversarial. I mean that
someone makes a comment and you take the opposite position, but when someone
makes a statement you can take the ball and continue to run with it. It moves
the conversation off into new and interesting directions. I posted once on
this. It is a technique from a deBono book (can’t remember which one).
> 5) NEVER BEING IMPRESSED.
> But will HE come over and act impressed? NOPE.
>
> He’ll just go do his own thing, or just sit there eating his ravioli,
> unimpressed with me, in his own reality.
It literally takes a lot to impress me. But I agree, it is uncool to gush. Just
nod your head and go "Yeah, nice one!" Or "That is interesting, tell me about
it" then they are the ones trying to impress you. This is not a concious
technique for me but I recognise that I probably do it. Again it is just a part
of my definition of what it means to be cool, together and under control.
> 6) ONLY HAVING RAPPORT WITH BETAS, EXCEPT FOR A FEW EXCEPTIONS.
Don’t know about that one. I mostly hang with people who I think are cool. "You
can judge a man by the company he keeps". "Birds of a feather flock together".
And other cliches.
> 7) ANSWERING QUESTIONS WITH DEGRADING JIBBERISH.
Do I do that?
> ALPHAMALES DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU.
Yeah, that is true. I think it is about how TD left my presence, I didn’t give
a fuck. It is a pity, but who gives a fuck?
This is also about being an independent thinker, and self relient. I have
enough friends in my life, I am not really looking for any more, but if someone
is cool to spend time with, I am open to it. It is about being comfortable with
yourself. I am courtious and friendly with people I just met giving them the
benifit of the doubt.
> 9) ALPHAMALES GET MORE CREDIT FOR MINOR ACTS OF KINDNESS THAN BETAS DO.
A lamo trying to ingatiate himself with someone will never get respect. This is
not a new point only further reason not to be a lamo.
> 10) ULTIMATE COMFORT IN OWN SKIN.
This, fellas, is what it is all about.
Thanks for the feedback, TD. It gives me something to think about. I am not
consciously an arrogant prick, I assure you.
I kept my eyes open for a long time, and compiled a mental list. I've been meaning to post this for a while.
I think that this is really important, and I hope that people will read all of this.
This post is about to get messy I think... confusing, etc.
Alright, for me, as I've gotten good at PU, I've finally started to notice discrepancies between myself and NATURAL players.
It's funny, because even though I can outgame any natural in terms of results, I often feel like I'm trying too hard.
Like, even though I can outgame them, they can have a nice chill night and just be comfortable and secure, while my mind is racing a million miles a minute.
Of course this is because I LOVE the game, and because I play it for the purpose of stimulating myself intellectually (once you get very experienced, your mind buzzes with info-processing while you're doing PU, as you rapidly compare past experience and game-theory that you've read, to events at hand.. This is why I play the PU game so much, and it is a similar reason to why I enjoy my philosophy cirriculum at school).
Still though, I've studied alpha behaviour very carefully now, and I've noticed some characteristics, which you guys may or may not agree with.
Here they are off the top of my head:
ALPHAMALE CHARACTERISTICS:
1) NEVER QUALIFYING THEMSELVES.
"Qualify" meaning that they never brag or even REMOTELY explain things... they don't say "I'm tired right now", or "I'm really hung over", or "My good clothes are at home", or "I used to be able to lift that weight, but I haven't been in the gym for a while.", or "I could do that, but I'm having a bad day."
Similarly, they don't talk excessively about all the chicks they've laid, or all their girlfriends, or all their success.
WHY? Because they don't even GIVE A FUCK enough about you to even tell you about it.
They ASSUME that you'll think that they're the shit, because they ARE.
TALKING ALOT / TOO MUCH IS VERY OFTEN INTERPRETED AS QUALIFYING YOURSELF.
2) NOT LOOKING AROUND.
Think CLINT EASTWOOD. He hears a big bang or loud noise, and he SLOWLY turns to look at it. He doesn't let ANYBODY disturb him. He's in his own reality.
I can remember walking into a class late one day, and not looking at the teacher WHATSOEVER.
The girls started giggling, as I looked totally unconcerned at what anyone thought, and they started hitting on me after class. I mean I can hardly convey this over the net.. The reaction was RIDICULOUS.
3) TALK SLOW.
Think to when you are chatting some authority figure, or somebody who you admire. If you're like me, you'll increase your speech DRAMATICALLY.
It's very obvious, and I've seen guys who are alpha start talking abnormally fast when confronted with guys who are MORE alpha.
Talking fast is a way of QUALIFYING yourself to someone, because you are WORRIED that they'll stop listening to you and that you won't get out what you have to say.
4) BEING THE ANCHOUR OF THE CONVERSATION.
Notice that when an obviously alpha guy is present, everyone faces their bodylanguage towards him.
If you crack a joke, people wait for the alphamale to laugh as a sort of "approval" of the joke. He laughs, and then everyone follows.
Also, an alphamale can crack a DUMB joke, but notice that everyone laughs. It's a laugh of SUBMISSION in many ways, as when I'm sarging girls they always giggle non-stop.. (alot of PUAs I've met will say "dude, you make girls giggle like nobody else.. this is ridiculous".. This is only something that I learned as I practised ASF stuff, and it never used to happen.
Notice that chicks LAUGH HYSTERICALLY when you call them "geeks/dorks/powerpuffgirls".. Or they laugh when you say that if they're not rich you'll break up with them.
Guys, this stuff is NOT FUNNY. But they laugh like its the funniest thing they've ever heard. Why? IMO, its because its a laugh of submission. These C&F remarks set you as ALPHA, and they giggle to submit.
This is called going "girly-girl", and the ugly chicks always bash the hotties for giggling at the captain of the football team's lame jokes.. "see how she laughs at all his dumb jokes.. its so pathetic!" (even though they WISH that THEY were the ones who the cool-guy would be chatting up)..
4b) USURPING THE GLORY.
Alphas seem to take ANYTHING that challenges their alpha status in the room and USURP it for themselves.
This is a variation of being the ANCHOUR of the convo.
Basically, if you're not the alpha, and you say something cool, the alphamale might do something like "YEAH THAT IS THE SHIT... YOU COULD EVEN DO X,Y,Z...."
Somehow, YOUR cool idea has become THEIR cool idea, and they've usurped the credit for your idea.
5) NEVER BEING IMPRESSED.
There's this one dude, who whenever I hang out at his house (university frathouse type deal, with lots of guys living there), there will always be this little "alpha-subtext" deal going on.
Like, I'll be showing the dudes there something, and I'll have ALL the attention.
But will HE come over and act impressed? NOPE.
He'll just go do his own thing, or just sit there eating his ravioli, unimpressed with me, in his own reality.
The ONLY time he'll pay attention to what I'm doing is if its a case like 4b, where he'll usurp it for himself.
Otherwise, he's NEVER interested.
6) ONLY HAVING RAPPORT WITH BETAS, EXCEPT FOR A FEW EXCEPTIONS.
I've noticed that I can't get along with alphamales as well as I used to be able to.
It's like a conflict in the room, where the heirarchical status is totally out of order.
Alphas will often hate eachother, except that when they DO make friends, they are BEST FRIENDS.
Or, they can co-exist, but have this sort of weird way of talking.
Like they'll say things to eachother in ways that don't qualify themselves, so its sort of like a weird broken conversation. I dunno how to describe this, but I'm sure you've all seen it.
Anyway, they get along with everyone, since everyone is on their knob. But as soon as someone who tries to "take over" the alpha status comes along, he's ridiculed for whatever reason they see fit.
7) ANSWERING QUESTIONS WITH DEGRADING JIBBERISH.
I've noticed that alphas will also have tendencies to take any question that you may have posed in attempt to get rapport with them, and answer it with some stupid non-sensical bullshit.
This goes back to why I say "don't ask girls questions.. just make statements until they try to get rapport with YOU.. 'what's your name', etc etc"
Say that you come across an alphamale, and you want to try to get rapport with him. Maybe you'll ask him some basic questions or something.
But he'll answer with stupid shit like "guess", or "I work at taco bell.. I'm the employee of the month".. SOUND FAMILIAR?
Also, they have a tendency to take what you asked and TWIST it around to ridicule you.
ALPHAMALES DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU.Have you ever been onto a campus where there are cliques everywhere.
Go look at the clique of rich jewish kids. (many of my closest friends are in these, so no stupid racist bullshit comments)
They don't give a fuck about you. You can be the centre of attention, life of the party, whatever..
It doesn't matter, they're in their corner with a few hotties, minding their own business, and they're NOT gonna come out to see what cool shit is going on with you.
Now you'd THINK that this would make them BETA, but there's just something ABOUT them that makes it seem cool.
Their disinterest puts them up above you, and if they DO come over, they come over like you're their "CLOWN" whose purpose is to ENTERTAIN THEM. It's all about THEM, not YOU. Again, "USURPING THE GLORY".
9) ALPHAMALES GET MORE CREDIT FOR MINOR ACTS OF KINDNESS THAN BETAS DO.
When I was in NYC with Papa and Mys, we stayed at the house of this guy named "Garvellous" (NYC Lair top guy).
He was a really cool guy, and he'd been laid around 40 times in college before he'd even FOUND ASF.
He'd been in a frat, and he told me about something that the frathouse would intentionally do to new pledges when they'd apply.
According to Garvellous, they were told to appear UNAPPROACHABLE and CLIQUISH initially.
THEN, they were to be REALLY DOWN TO EARTH.
What he explained was that if you APPEAR to be cliquish and unapproachable, that when you turned out to be actually down to earth, people would say "this guy is the NICEST/COOLEST guy.."
As opposed to a librarian or a geek being nice, which NOBODY appreciates because they interpret it as COMPENSATING for short-comings.
Just think: Imagine if you were to bump into Jay-Z or Dr. Dre or Michael Jordan, and they had a big entourage. The celeb in question comes up to you and says "what's up.. having a good time dude? cool.. yeah this place is pretty busy you know, and it can be kinda intimidating.. but you know, I just try to have a good time.. anyway, have a good night man.."
You'd be like HOLY SHIT THAT GUY IS THE COOLEST/NICEST GUY I'VE EVER MET... You'd tell EVERYBODY about how cool and down to earth the celeb is, and you'd be really appreciative and impressed.
Now take the SAME REMARK from a geek or whatever, and you wouldn't give it a second thought... Whatever, its just some geek.
In clubs, the "unapproachable" guys are the dudes who wear sunglasses into the club, and have superfly clothes and a corner with hot girls. Notice that if one of THOSE guys approaches your set in a club, you will NEVER snub him. The two-man cockfarm of generically dressed guys on the other hand, its a different story.
10) ULTIMATE COMFORT IN OWN SKIN.
Here is one that I find really funny.
Look at rapport 50-Cent, or any stereotypical rockstar.
Now your average woman will have all of these "ideals" that guys should have, but notice that these go out the window for guys like 50-Cent.
50-Cent raps about how he's going to kill and shoot people.. Fuck hoes, etc etc..
NOBODY questions this.
He is 50-Cent, he's from the streets, and THAT-IS-WHO-HE-IS.
NOBODY QUESTIONS IT.
Similarly, a rockstar pumps massive drugs and fucks groupies all day long.
He's a REBEL.. a BADBOY.. a SEX SYMBOL.. (notice the correlation, and how projecting rebel/badboy can get you laid, even though there is no LOGICAL reason for that being the case)..
Even a spiritual guy who talks about inner-peace and non-violence and all that stuff will usually say "well, he's a superstar" when they're asked what they think about these types of guys.. (there are exceptions of course, and the dudes with more zeal will call out anybody).
Another example is like COLLEGE ALPHA MALES who wear dumb shit like TOGAS and marker up their faces with magic marker and shit like that.
Notice that everyone thinks that its COOL, just because the "cool kids" (alphas) are doing it. NOBODY questions it.
CONCLUDING THOUGHTS:
1) Good topic for discussion - how to DEAL with these kinds of guys. For any of us who do clubs, these kind of guys can be DIFFICULT TO BEFRIEND, for group thoery purposes (for social proof, and of course for stealing their chicks)
So how do we get good at out-alpha-ing these guys, who barely talk, and who are disinterested in getting to know you?
2) In what ways do WE on ASF EMULATE these behaviours?
Some obvious ones are just making statements and not asking about them until they go for it first.
And following up "what's your name" with answers like "guess".
3) How does this CONFLICT with the fact that you NEED TO BE TALKATIVE in order to pickup.
It's funny, because it could be argued that the true alpha doesn't TRY to pickup, but just goes out with his group and has girls do the work to approach HIM.
It just strikes me funny that although I'm supposedly thought of as this big alpha guy on campus, that I TRY REALLY HARD compared to all the other alphas. Basically, I'm a MASSIVE try-hard when you really get down to it. I just hide it very well.
So if alphamales don't talk too much, because that is QUALIFYING YOURSELF, then how do we run a good PU?
One way to get over this hump is to just go and make statements, run routines, etc etc, in a way that conveys that you're just in the mood to TALK, and it has NOTHING to do with impressing them.
Of course this is what David D, Gunwitch, and others are referring to when they say its 90% bodylanguage/tonality.
This goes back to the ideas of 2) TALK SLOW, 3) NOT LOOKING AROUND. Also 1) NOT QUALIFYING YOURSELF is important here as well, since you JUST TALK and don't try to get rapport, or say things that could be interpreted as qualifying yourself.
A GREAT way to do this is JERK ROUTINES, which are NEGS because you are saying that you don't want them, so they interpret that as NOT qualifying yourself, which makes them perceive you as alpha, which attracts them to you.
Also importantly here,
ALPHAMALES DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU... That is conveyed by the fact that you DON'T ASK QUESTIONS to the chick. You don't ask her her name, or where she works, or ANYTHING until she starts asking YOU.IOW, I don't go for rapport with HER, until she goes for it with ME, and then I initialy TEASE her that I won't reciprocate this intention ("guess", C&F answers, etc), for the first minute, until I DO give it to her.
----
OK, long post. I hope people will find this helpful.
I'm really cool!
It's a funny thing when you set out to become good with women......
If you're coming into the community as a "nerdy" or so-called "not cool" guy, you start out just wanting the utter pain and loneliness of not having a girlfriend to go away.
You're not thinking in terms of personal TRANSFORMATION and DEEP IDENTITY LEVEL CHANGE......
No way.
That stuff's confusing... Vague... Mind-exhausting...
Not to mention it would take waaaaaay too much time -- and that crappy feeling you're dealing with is something that you need to get rid of RIGHT NOW.
At first you look towards the variety of "magic pill" solutions, probably thinking that if you can memorize and calibrate a series of lines or techniques that you'll somehow generate the attraction to make women want you.
Of course, over time you realize that this gets a lot of women giggling and chatty but at the end of the night they don't actually want to HAVE SEX with you.
From there you deduce that if you can get MORE LINES you'll somehow keep the conversation going for longer and longer until the sex just somehow "happens" -- but that doesn't work either because the whole idea of it is totally ludicrous.
(BTW I think having great lines is awesome... It's just that it's the sizzle on the steak, not the steak...)
The "elusive obvious" of course, is that you just haven't become quote/unquote COOL as of yet...
You haven't yet become a dude who a prospective girl can bring around her friends and count on to make a good impression (or even jealous...) -- and the fact is that she just doesn't feel like it would be a big boost in her sense of validation to sleep with you.From your perpective this doesn't really make sense...
It's like, what do these so-called "cool" people have that you don't??
Is it that they say the word "BRO" to eachother a lot?? Is it that they drink more CORONA'S than you do??
I mean, the whole "who is cool" and "who is uncool" thing is in many ways so absurd and ridiculous that if you grew up with major interests outside of socializing you may well have never fully bothered to wrap your head around it.
To a logical guy, the whole glass wall that separates you from the "cool" people can be very hard to understand.
--> Why is that when you go to a hot nightclub that all these so-called "cool" guys seem to be having a lot more fun than you??
--> Why is it that when you talk to them you just feel like what they're saying is somehow better than what YOU have to say??
--> Why don't they want to hang out with you, but will hang out with other so-called "cool" guys??
Truth be told, the whole "cool" thing is waaaaaay blown out of proportion in Western Culture.
Especially when you consider that there's like a huge portion of the population who walk around essentially traumatized from their High School days where they never got the privilege of being "popular" or "cool".
Still, this stuff is like ROCKET FUEL for attracting women.
Women respond to guys who are obviously "popular" and "cool"... Duuuh.I often say that if you're a "cool" guy who clearly appears to be "popular" you've got like 2/3s of this whole game fully locked down.
The upside to all this is that if you just do what you're supposed to do and actually stick to the script (ie: go out regularly) -- you WILL inevitably become "cool".
It's just a matter of time and social experience.
There's another level though, that I think a lot of successful guys often fail to attain -- and that's to come full circle and realize that BEING COOL IS REALLY NO BIG DEAL.
I think when you grow up feeling like the popular kids have a great deal of power over you that it takes a period of decompression to fully "internalize" that you actually ARE as cool as these so called popular folks.
Like, you can sleep with countless women and STILL feel yourself a little uncomfortable when you're around the type of guy who would have made fun of you in High School.
You might even harbour a secret feeling that you're "infiltrating" their cliques without their knowledge, or a desire to sleep with their girlfriends and get them to take it on the face -- all in the act of venting a sort of pent up hostility you're dealing with from back in High School.
Back in the day I'd love to demonstrate how to steal the "popular" guys' girlfriends and makeout with them right under their noses.
At the time my mindset was like "These are the same guys who would've done this to me back in the day......."
Naturally, this became a well-known feature in the bootcamp reviews as it represented a certain level of mastery in the game -- despite that it's actually a surprisingly easy thing to do.
The thing is, over the years I've come to evolve my way of thinking quite a bit......
I'm not really coming from that place anymore......
I don't think it's an overall very cool thing to teach or do, EVEN IF it IS ultimately up to the girl to make her own decisions about what she wants.
(Exception: sometimes the girl is obviously up for it, and sometimes she even *needs* you to help her to resolve to get out of a bad relationship... that's a whole 'nother article...)
And you know what??
While I won't makeout with another guys' girlfriend in front of him anymore, my *overall* skillset with women has improved very obviously because I don't feel any hostility towards these guys anymore.
I don't feel like an outsider. I'm don't feel like I'm a nerd with a scheme to infiltrate their magical cliques.
The truth is that these people are just REGULAR FOLKS who never exerted any power over me --> I just handed it to them without them even wanting it...
All of that pent up anger...... it was really just an outwardly directed frustration at my own shortcomings.
Oftentimes it's only after you've used the insane momentum to improve so friggin' much that you literally BLOW THESE GUYS AWAY that it finally "clicks" that you're not only as cool as them, but that you actually feel kind of sorry for them...
It's like you've spent a decade preparing to go back and fight the kindergarden bully, only to realize that you weigh a 150 pounds more than him and that you just made him this big hobgoblin fictional character in your mind.
I mean really, people are just people..........
Chances are, any time they've ever made fun of you was just coming from a place of the SAME insecurity that YOU were dealing with..... and they just had a different "strategy" for coping with it.
I really think that deep down, most people are actually really, really positively intentioned.
It's just a point of seeing it, and seeing past the social personas.
Over time I think that your "self concept" DOES catch up with the "social skills" you get from massive amounts of going out.
And once it does, it's a really beautiful thing.
You become a natural. You become a guy who offers value. And you come to walk with total ease in your environment and in the world.
That's it for today.... Thanks for reading this and being cool!!
Tyler
I almost replied on private e-mail, but reconsidered and post instead.
TylerDurden sent me a private e-mail asking for feedback on this post since he
learned a lot of it he says based on meeting me. So I post my response here. It
is actually good feedback for me on how I come across, and a sad inditement of
my aloofness also. The issue here is really about what it means to be cool. I
meet a lot of people from the community, and very few it seems to me measure up
to the standard of cool that I expect from my friends so maybe some elemetary
discussion are in order. Comments within:
>
> ALPHAMALE CHARACTERISTICS:
>
>
> 1) NEVER QUALIFYING THEMSELVES.
>
> "Qualify" meaning that they never brag or even REMOTELY explain things...
> they don’t say "I’m tired right now", or "I’m really hung over", or "My good
> clothes are at home", or "I used to be able to lift that weight, but I
> haven’t been in the gym for a while.", or "I could do that, but I’m having a
> bad day."
>
> Similarly, they don’t talk excessively about all the chicks they’ve laid, or
> all their girlfriends, or all their success.
>
> WHY? Because they don’t even GIVE A FUCK enough about you to even tell you
> about it.
I am sorry I come off like that. But on the other hand my internal dialogue
about whether I am hungry, or need a shit or whatever is my internal dialogue.
There is a filter between my brain and my mouth. I would like it if other
people could have the same filter and think about my interests before they open
their mouths and sprout it to me because it would save all the banal
conversations that I have to have sometimes. When a banal conversation comes
along, I either tune out and get into a conversatoin with the person to my left
until it is over and the person has taken a hint, or let it be known that I am
not interested with a disinterested facial guesture, or sometimes in a PU I
will give the chick a "Spare me!". It is not a bad neg actually. This is really
about the mechanism of negs. And it is true ... I dont give a fuck about if
someone else is hungry unless it somehow impacts my plans in that I will have
to accompany them to get something to eat or something. It is not that I am
only self interested, I just expect some restraint on their part as to what we
are going to talk about.
If a chick tells me she is hungry during a PU, I will use the op for an instant
date. If an instant date is not possible and the statement is banal I will not
answer it, just leap the conversation to a new thread "Really? so anyway, I was
down on the corner of Jefferson Ave. and Main St. the other day and ..."
>
> They ASSUME that you’ll think that they’re the shit, because they ARE.
Yeah, I do truely believe that I am the shit, because I am:-). You have to be
cooler than the chick in a PU. Always. Doesn’t matter if she thinks she is the
club queen with hangers on and an enterage, that is what a neg is for. Tell her
she is weird. You are suddenly cooler. She tells you that you are weird, she is
cooler, especially if you try to justify your self, or go into self-discovery
mode. Tell her as a retort that her momma didn’t teach her any manners. Or that
she doesn’t get out much. You are the cooler one again. You know about manners,
social interactoins and all that stuff more than her.
>
> TALKING ALOT / TOO MUCH IS VERY OFTEN INTERPRETED AS QUALIFYING YOURSELF.
It is not about talking too much so much as talking fucking banalities or too
quickly or rabbitting from one conversation to another with no eye for whether
the topics of conversation are of interest to the other person. Someone who
always has to fill the silence with bullshit is unconfident. If there is a
silence don’t fill it like a hopping running rabbit just scattering some mad
movement into the silence ... just shrug your shoulders, smile and say to her
"So you are full of scintilating conversation ... c’mon, tell me a story,
entertain me!" They never can. Too much pressure. They will say as much and ask
you to tell them a story. That is your cue for a routine. You look cool, she
looks boring. She will want to fuck you because you are cooler than her.
>
> 2) NOT LOOKING AROUND.
I am big on this one. Say it all the time to everyone I go out with. "Stop
looking at them! Dont stand there and scope the room! You are fucking it up for
me with your uncoolness. You have to have your own shit going on!" The 3 second
rule is worth sticking to.
>
> Think CLINT EASTWOOD. He hears a big bang or loud noise, and he SLOWLY turns
> to look at it. He doesn’t let ANYBODY disturb him. He’s in his own reality.
This is more of not being an excitable rabbit. Anyone who has spent time
anywhere that is dangerous (rough neighbourhoods, dangerous cities) knows that
you are best off in a new place just working out the scene for a little bit and
acting as if the place is normal to you. Tourists to the neighbourhoods stand
out because they stare at things that are normal to the locals. This makes them
targets for theives. You have to look comfortable in your environment. Every
time you do anything you should look like you have done it 1000 times before.
You want to be the opposite of Vince Vaughan in "Made" where it was obvious
that he was new to the whole NY limo thing, etc.
> 3) TALK SLOW.
> Think to when you are chatting some authority figure, or somebody who you
> admire. If you’re like me, you’ll increase your speech DRAMATICALLY.
Covered it, but this does not mean drawling like a retard it means make sure
you are not rabbiting, and leaving pauses.
> 4) BEING THE ANCHOUR OF THE CONVERSATION.
> Notice that when an obviously alpha guy is present, everyone faces their
> bodylanguage towards him.
>
> If you crack a joke, people wait for the alphamale to laugh as a sort of
> "approval" of the joke. He laughs, and then everyone follows.
OK, that just happens. I try to make people feel reasonably comfortable in my
presence though.
> 4b) USURPING THE GLORY.
>
> Alphas seem to take ANYTHING that challenges their alpha status in the room
> and USURP it for themselves.
>
> This is a variation of being the ANCHOUR of the convo.
>
> Basically, if you’re not the alpha, and you say something cool, the
> alphamale might do something like "YEAH THAT IS THE SHIT... YOU COULD EVEN
> DO X,Y,Z...."
I am not sure that this is usurping. If TD has applied the word to me I am
guessing that it applies to my interaction with TD on the night I met him. It
wasn’t a competition for me though. I think it is a good way to interact for a
different reason. Look, with a person you can be adversarial. I mean that
someone makes a comment and you take the opposite position, but when someone
makes a statement you can take the ball and continue to run with it. It moves
the conversation off into new and interesting directions. I posted once on
this. It is a technique from a deBono book (can’t remember which one).
> 5) NEVER BEING IMPRESSED.
> But will HE come over and act impressed? NOPE.
>
> He’ll just go do his own thing, or just sit there eating his ravioli,
> unimpressed with me, in his own reality.
It literally takes a lot to impress me. But I agree, it is uncool to gush. Just
nod your head and go "Yeah, nice one!" Or "That is interesting, tell me about
it" then they are the ones trying to impress you. This is not a concious
technique for me but I recognise that I probably do it. Again it is just a part
of my definition of what it means to be cool, together and under control.
> 6) ONLY HAVING RAPPORT WITH BETAS, EXCEPT FOR A FEW EXCEPTIONS.
Don’t know about that one. I mostly hang with people who I think are cool. "You
can judge a man by the company he keeps". "Birds of a feather flock together".
And other cliches.
> 7) ANSWERING QUESTIONS WITH DEGRADING JIBBERISH.
Do I do that?
>
ALPHAMALES DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU.Yeah, that is true. I think it is about how TD left my presence, I didn’t give
a fuck. It is a pity, but who gives a fuck?
This is also about being an independent thinker, and self relient. I have
enough friends in my life, I am not really looking for any more, but if someone
is cool to spend time with, I am open to it. It is about being comfortable with
yourself. I am courtious and friendly with people I just met giving them the
benifit of the doubt.
> 9) ALPHAMALES GET MORE CREDIT FOR MINOR ACTS OF KINDNESS THAN BETAS DO.
A lamo trying to ingatiate himself with someone will never get respect. This is
not a new point only further reason not to be a lamo.
> 10) ULTIMATE COMFORT IN OWN SKIN.
This, fellas, is what it is all about.
Thanks for the feedback, TD. It gives me something to think about. I am not
consciously an arrogant prick, I assure you.